We have just lost our ‘logo cat’ Trelle. And our hearts are broken and lives more empty because of his absence. Bear with me a bit of personal…
Trelle, a sweet, big, dignified ‘tuxedo’ black and white male adopted us 12 years ago at our home in CT. He came following his tiny wild, year old, ‘wife’ a tortoise colored female, and their 4 kittens who’d moved in under our deck. We captured, neutered and found homes for the kittens, but fell in love with Trelle in no time. Obviously owned and loved at one time, he just wanted a home again, and set about winning us over. We set them up in a heat padded dog house in our garage, since she wouldn’t come in the house ever. He watched over her and over us from that time on. He’d been wild for a few years it was guessed and was about 4 or 5 then…making him 16 or 17 this summer.
We’d brought him, and Camo, with us to VA almost 9 years ago. She didn’t stay, but he did, and moved in our house and our bed in no time. Now he was geriatric but didn’t know it. Had Renal failure for 3 years but didn’t know it. He sauntered through our lives with quiet composure and was my husband’s true shadow and best friend. (other than me!) Needless to say, the sudden onset of serious seizures and our having to let him go last Wed. was a most difficult time for us.
This loss got me thinking of losses and their difficulty generally. I lost one of my agency artists a number of years ago…Ann Barrow, who had become a friend, and I still dearly miss and think about her often. Recently another of my artists lost her life partner and as she is also a dear friend, and I’ve known the family for almost 20 years as the children came and have grown, I grieve with her. Another of my artists, Michele Noiset, is moving her whole family this weekend from her family’s long time home on Cape Cod to Memphis for a new job teaching op in a college there. A new start…a big change. My 92 year old mother lives in a ‘home’ just 3 miles from me. She has no quality of life at all…can’t walk, see or hear well, read, even watch a movie on TV, doesn’t remember her husband of 68 years (passed in ’01), my dear father, and often now doesn’t know me as her ‘little girl Christy’…but takes my word for it! She’s not in pain mostly, and we have a few lovely ‘moments’ I cherish, but….I don’t want to lose her, but pray for her peaceful time to come. Loss.
We lose jobs and it hurts and frightens us with doubt, we lose friends as they move on as well, we ‘lose’ our children as they grow and leave for their lives on their own… just what we wanted for them. yet… It’s never easy. Some loss inspires us and this is good. Change is always hard, even if it’s for the best. We can learn and grow and flourish in change and loss. As creative people I hope we can use the life we live and experience for just that creative process.
But OH how those empty spaces leave us aching at times…those moments never to come again. Thank God for those memories… hang on to them, use them, create new life from them. Miss you Trelle…but you carry on still as our agency logo…. inspired memories!